The lie of free will
by ClownsScareMeToo
Summary: Dean wonders is his life matters. He decides to let the chips fall where they may. Cas has also given up in the hope of stopping the Apocalypse. They spend the night trying to distract themselves and to take back some control of what they do.


This was shit. Life was Shit. Team Free Will was a fucking joke. He knew it. Even if he tried not to let Sam know, there was really no hiding it. Dean was losing hope in the whole thing. Michael would come eventually and ask for his body and he knew that he would say yes. That stupid three letter one syllable word that would change his life.

But it didn't matter. His life was never his to begin with. It either belong to John Winchester or to the innocent lives he tried to save. And no matter how many drinks or screws he had, his life, his body was never his.

Dean sat in his car blasting Megadeth. Sam was on some D-list ghost chase and they had just had a fight about some stupid demon crap.

"They say this is devil music but really it's just noise. Lucifer prefers classical." A deep monotone voice spoke next to him.

"JESUS, Cas! Don't sneak up on me like that." He turned the volume down. Castiel had his usual shifty look about him but something was different. The Apocalypse was put on hold for the Winchesters for now. So what did he want?

"What is it, Cas. You seem...down."

"I am sitting erect right now." Right. Mister Literal. "The reason I came...is because I'm bored. Right now there is nothing for me to do. I desired your company."

"Whoa. Fallen Angel is lonely. What a surprise." Dean turned on the engine. "Lets do something interesting, my friend."

Cas looked at him in slight confusion, but didn't say anything. They drove around the town picking up cheap hamburgers and cheap beer and tried to get cheap women but Dean's charm wasn't its best and Cas just scared them away. Probably because one of them used the line "Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven" and Castiel started explaining the intense pain he felt when he _did _ fall.

God, they were in a sorry state.

Castiel was a funny drunk. Almost human. Dean was still nursing his second beer while Cas was somewhere in the teens. He started preaching to the bartender and anyone who caught his eye about Lucifer, God and how they sucked. The hunter laughed. He knew a thing or two about deadbeat dads and rebelling brothers.

Back at the motel Cas was still ranting about Heaven. Dean had tuned him out and just was nodding in agreement at whatever he was saying.

Then the fallen angel stopped talking. It was like he ran out of things to say. Or maybe he realized the other wasn't listening. "-want you."

Dean woke up from daydreaming. "What?" He said in an all too serious voice.

"I said." Cas lowered his gaze at the hunter. "I. Want. You. Dean."

Dean chuckled. A slow smile creeped on his face and he blinked a few times trying to comprehend what the male in front of him had said. Maybe he misheard. They had a few beers after all.

"Cas, do you what you're implying? I mean, if this is a joke-"

"What about me makes you think I joke?"

"...Heh. You've got me there. So what? Wanna get naked and fuck? Right here right now? C'mon Cas. You can't be serious."

Castiel looked away, like he was admiring the beige wallpaper.

"Those women. They wanted sex. Correct?"

"Heh. I'm sure they did."

"But I didn't want them. I want you... I'm not Michael. You do actually have a choice in this. And if you wish, I won't bring it up again." He turned towards the door.

"Wait!" Dean called before the angel could vanish like he always did when he felt he wasn't needed. "Jesus Christ, Cas. You can't just spring something like this on me. I need to think about this." He brought the bottle up to his lips. The sour liquor wasn't as appealing now. Usually when people offered sex to him, it was just for one night. He knew Cas. They were Team Free Will. Partners.

What the hell. It was the fucking Apocalypse. It wasn't like they had a lot of time left. Besides, if Michael was going to take over his body, he might as well enjoy it in the days he had left to control it.

Dean stood up, laughing in his throat. "You piece of shit." He said, grabbing the back of Castiel's head and kissing him. Fingers ran through spiked hair and Dean was pushed against the wall. God _Damn_ Cas was a good kisser. Dean grabbed the other's shoulder's and forced the angel to stand with his back to the motel wall. Castiel kissed his square jaw and it became a tug of war of who was leading who. Somehow jackets came off and Castiel was laying on the bed with his shirt unbuttoned but tie still tied and Dean biting his nipples, undoing their belts.

The angel wrapped his legs around the hunter and hugged him on top. Deep hot breaths next to Dean's ear. His heart racing- whose heart was it? Groins throbbed against bodies. They stayed wrapped in each other for a moment, an eternity.

"Dean."

"Bitch."

Dean squeezed Castiel's tie, slightly choking him and sucked his neck. A moan and pelvis rubbing against his stomach told him to continue. He stripped his pants off, letting Cas gasp for oxygen. Tugging down the pleated pants and straddling on his hip, Dean wrapped both his hands around Castiel's throat. A deep throttle escaped the fallen's lips.

_Cocks hard and kneading. Breaths shallow and quick. Hands squeezing. Hands that kill and save and grip. He was so beautiful. So beautiful and sad. His eyes were deep and dark and gorgeous. They had seen too much. _

The angel's world was fading. Dean was so serious. Narrowed eyes and thin lips. Quiet snorts matched the rhythm of the roll of his hips. Castiel's body was burning up. He couldn't breath. He squeezed the sheets as his body shuddered for breaths. He made involuntary whimpers and spasms and all at once could not think; he didn't exist. The universe was white and wet and warm.

Life rushed back into Cas when the man on top released his grip. He turned to his side going into a coughing fit. He felt a kiss on his shoulder while trying to catch his breath. Dean kissed down the other's waist, hip and member, now soft and covered in cum. Cas hissed. It was too sensitive and he felt like climaxing again as the hunter licked.

"_Ah. Dean!"_ The hunter bit his thigh. Castiel was finally able to open his eyes. Naked legs wrapped around his strong, broad shoulders. Dean suckled different areas of his skin while masturbating.

_"hah...uhn...I was...supposed to...you." _Cas said ruggedly.

"We don't always get what we want."


End file.
